Afraid To Ask For Feedback In Job Interviews?

Put your discomfort or fear aside. Ask for feedback, and show the employer how such back-and-forth is helpful to both of you.

Question: Interview coaches say you should try to “close” on a job offer at the end of an interview. Say things like, “Is there anything that would prevent you from making me an offer?” or “Can I tell you anything else that would help you decide to hire me?” I feel awkward being that pushy. What I really want is some honest feedback, but it’s hard to ask for it for the same reason—it feels pushy. Got any ideas to help me?

Nick Corcodilos: The feedback loop is such a fundamental mechanism in so many working systems—biological, mechanical, computer, social. Nothing works well without it. In a job interview, there’s no way to address the employer’s needs effectively if you don’t know what the employer thinks of what you’ve already said.

Imagine meeting with your boss to get a new assignment. He tells you what he expects. If you’re smart, you re-state it in your own words to make sure you’ve got it right. Your boss tweaks it, you ask some more questions, and you don’t leave his office until there’s enough back-and-forth that you’re confident you’ve got it right. That’s a feedback loop.

When I coach job candidates, I suggest they open a feedback loop at the beginning of a job interview, so they can ask feedback questions throughout the meeting.

How To Say It

Tune this to suit your style:

“I know this is an interview, but I’d like to ask you to judge me under an even stricter standard. Think of me as an employee. Please critique what I have to say during our talk, as if you were critiquing someone on your own team.

“At the end of our meeting, I’d like to ask you to judge me as an employee. Based on our interaction here, would you give me an important assignment? Demote me? Fire me? Promote me?

“I say this not to presume control of our meeting today, but because I really believe that if I cannot demonstrate to you how I’d add profit to your bottom line, you should not hire me. You should end this meeting. We can shake hands, having made a new friend, and go our separate ways. And by the way, if that happens, I’’l be happy to recommend one or two other good people I think you might want to interview for the job.

“But I’m confident I can show you, during our time together, that I’m the most profitable job candidate you’ll meet for this job. Your feedback is crucial to me whether we’re working together or getting to know one another.”

Interviewers who have a difficult time addressing your request for such feedback don’t know how to work well with others. They have no business assessing job candidates.

Job applicants who wait until the end of an interview to get feedback are squandering an opportunity. They have no business in the job interview if they’re not there to quickly learn what’s required so they can demonstrate why they should be hired. And that requires a lot of feedback.

So set the stage early in the interview. Put your discomfort or fear aside. Ask for feedback, and show the employer how such back-and-forth is helpful to both of you.

What About The Employer?

We all know the employer is really in control of a job interview. The employer requested the meeting and needs to decide whether to pay money to hire you. So the feedback loop is critical to the employer, too.

The “how to say it” suggestion above is easy enough to twist 180 degrees so the employer can express it. As the employer, after explaining what you need done in the job, ask the candidate to restate it to you—and then ask the candidate for questions that will help clarify the objectives and the methods to achieve them.

Tell the candidate you’re viewing her as an employee and that at the end of your meeting, you’re going to give her a review. Ask her to act as if you’re meeting to give her a new assignment—after all, you are!—and explain that you need to see how she uses a feedback loop to get it right.

Interviews are too often canned Q&A. They should be working meetings, but two people can’t work together if they don’t ask for, and give, feedback. This is also known as the lost art of real conversation!

For more about how to improve your interviews, see “VP: I’m Tired Of Canned Job Interviews!” I think you’ll also like Kevin Johnson’s excellent article on LinkedIn, “Ask for Feedback DURING Your Job Interview.”